July 4, 2009
i don’t know why i am still awake.  i keep looking at his pictures so much that it makes me feel weird about myself. like i am already obsessing? why does my brain think like this? what makes me do this? why can’t i control myself? i need to stop this. i am aware of what i am doing this time, so i need to help myself. relax. deep breaths. i should just go to sleep.

i don’t know why i am still awake. 

i keep looking at his pictures so much that it makes me feel weird about myself.

like i am already obsessing?

why does my brain think like this? what makes me do this? why can’t i control myself? i need to stop this. i am aware of what i am doing this time, so i need to help myself.

relax.

deep breaths.

i should just go to sleep.

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